What inspires me?

Hello everyone!

You might be wondering how does a crafter/artist come up with their artwork. I will speak for myself on where my inspiration comes from and this is one of the main reason: people (the strangers, friends,co-workers and family).

Yes, it’s people like you! So many times when I hear people so frustrated in life and have no clue on what would make them happy. Does it ring a bell? Don’t worry I have been there.

Most of my childhood, teenage and early adult years, my passion for the arts had been engulfed by my fear of what others think of me. I was so overwhelmed of other people’s expectation (sadly from my family as well) that I was miserable and by the time I was in my early 20’s I got depressed. Alone, I wanted to take my own life and ask God: “why did you leave me?” or “why is my life so miserable”. I had conviced myself that I am not worthy of “Happiness” and when I feel happy, I was worried that something bad will happen next. I was filled with worry.

I was angry at myself because I wasn’t “good enough”. I had so many regrets and I was letting myself down ALL THE TIME. I had great dreams, but because I feel alone and had no support from my family, those dreams came with me into the darkness. I was on a downward spiral of gloom and sadness. I was meant to be like this.

My thoughts were centered on worry and regret. I kept myself imprisoned  with my own negative thoughts. I would cry alone and have a pity party, I was tired and I struggled to face everyday life.

How is that inspirational to my crafts and creativity? EXACTLY! They kill creativity and inspiration.

I am so passionate about this blog and ready to share to all of you who are on the same boat as I was. Something had to change. Said that very tiny voice in my head as I was ready to commit suicide again.

During the time that I felt alone, I was also praying to God, please help me. But the power of my depression was so strong that I had convinced myself that God wasn’t listening.

I was single and had no luck to be asked out on a date, it made me feel ugly, insecure and no confidence on myself. But on my birthday on July 5, 2014, somehow I prayed to God again: “Lord, if it’s Your will to let me meet a guy and have a life with him, then let it be done. If not, then I am also willing to live a single life.” I just surrendered to Him just like that. Somehow, it felt like my soul needed this.

With the encouragement of a close friend, I had signed up on an online dating site and gave myself an ultimatum that this is my last chance. On that birthday, I have created my profile and signed in for a 6 month membership. Two days later, Eric, my now husband to be, messaged me saying: “Hey there, I am not Asian………” lol. So, fast forward we are having our wedding in August 2018.

True story, this is what it looks like when I try to take a decent selfie with my fiance, Eric.

It still amazes me when Eric told me: “You know that I prayed for you“, I asked God that whoever is “the one” to keep her safe and healthy. I do believe that eventhough we haven’t met yet, that Eric was praying for me. I do believe that’s a reason that life still pulled me out of my suicidal thoughts.

Now you might ask, OKAY, so how does that inspire you? Again.

You are the sole responsible entity to your own happiness. Nobody and nothing else can give that to you. My inspirations come from my everyday decision  to be happy, trust God AND do good.

Creating art/craftwork makes me happy, not because I wanted to be a show-off but because it has been a passion since I was a kid. It pains me to know that so many people out there chose to “exist” and not living their lives. Making something out of nothing brings me to life and my whole being uplifted. I trully believe that this talent was given to me for a purpose and I am willing and decided to give myself a shot and be great at it.

To God be the glory. Everything I do from here on and my past experiences had drawn me closer to Our Creator. When I had nobody, He was there. When I was giving up on myself, He was the force that lifted me up. I pray that when you come across this blog that you would find assurance that when you sincerely ask God to help you, HE WILL.

Do not give up on yourself. Your feelings will wear you down because they come when you don’t need them and don’t come when you need them. You shouldn’t base your life on feelings. God did not intend for you to worry, suffer, experience pain and misery – the devil does. So, decide to start on yourself, talk to God when those feelings appear. Exercise this habbit everyday. Deciding, praying and taking good actions are like muscles, to get stronger you need to exercise them daily.

Lastly, do not regret anything. Do what makes you happy! I’m not talking about vices, smokes, drugs or anything that will harm you. Time is a limited commodity. Easier said than done, but would you rather try, fail and try again than be at your deathbed and have all your unborn talents staring at you and saying: I should have tried.

 

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